Call her Black Mariah.

Because women’s work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we’re the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it’s our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we’re nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we’re nymphos and if we don’t we’re frigid and if we love women it’s because we can’t get a “real” man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we’re neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we’re selfish and if we stand up for our rights we’re aggressive and “unfeminine” and if we don’t we’re typical weak females and if we want to get married we’re out to trap a man and if we don’t we’re unnatural and because we still can’t get an adequate safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon and if we can’t cope or don’t want a pregnancy we’re made to feel guilty about abortion and…for lots of other reasons we are part of the women’s liberation movement.  ~Author unknown, quoted in The Torch, 14 September 1987

De verdad.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.

P.D. ¿por qué he desarrollado la necesidad de publicar mis momentos WTF? Creo que siempre la he tenido, sólo que ahora sí tengo dónde. Antes estaba myspace, pero… myspace qué.

Es bonito poder decir aquí lo que no se puede decir en Twitter.

OMGWTFFFFFFFFFF

ya.

My cousin, who is my age, recently found a bunch of pictures of us when we were really little and she told my mom. My mom then called me and said “Leanne found some pictures of you two from a long time ago and is going to tag you on facebook, whatever that means. I guess you’re it.”
Joel Eaton, Hamline University

My almost 50-year-old father was complaining to me today that he thinks it’s ridiculous his 86-year-old father just joined Facebook.
Drew Hendricks, UNC Wilmington

My grandma always reminds me to turn my GPS off a few blocks before I get home “so that the man giving me directions doesn’t know where I live.”
Christy L

My boss thinks that Google is slang for find. Just this week, I’ve heard him tell our interns to google old documents in our file cabinets, google meeting minutes saved on our server, and google some sugar packets for the coffee bar.
Melissa Fleissner, American University

My Grandpa forgot his email password, so he canceled his internet
JD Ellis

I just had to explain to my father how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn’t “use more internet.”
Mac Anna, University of Analheim

My mom deleted friends off Facebook in an attempt to free up her hard drive space.
Jake Shimell

My professor’s Facebook status this morning was: “what exactly is a ‘poke?’ before i do it to anybody, i need to know what happens… thx”
Katherine Grandstrand

While my status is “away” and my screen name is prefixed with “Sleeping,” my dad will say hi to me and start explaining many things and asking several questions on MSN at 6 in the morning. He will eventually say “hello?”, “are you there?”, and “are you getting my instant e-mails?” over and over, expecting me to reply.
Rob Frost, University of Toronto

My mom thinks I’m really popular because of how many people wished me Happy Birthday on Facebook.
Peter L, NCSU

Mom: “I loved the Twilight soundtrack! Even bought two copies so I didn’t have to move it from car to house!!”
Roy Fahrenheit

My mom asked if emails were delivered on Sundays.
Alex Slemp

Every time my mom signs up for something online, she scrolls through the entire terms of service page because “They can tell if you don’t read it.”
Matt D.

My dad bought a year’s subscription to megavideo premium.
Ryan Lay

My dad called me in to his office because his computer “had a virus.” My 80 year old grandfather had sent him an email in wingdings. When I changed the font the email read: “Just wanted to see if you were smart enough to figure this out. Love Dad.”
Ben G

The other day, my mother came up to me and asked if I wanted her to buy me a YouTube account.
Kier Mills, Oakwood

When my mom wants me to look something up online, she says “why don’t you go ask the ‘W’s? “
Mike L, New York Institute of Technology

My mom thinks Michael Jackson PERSONALLY updates his Youtube page with videos. She always posted comments like, “Thank you for putting up this video, Michael!”. When he passed away and new videos were still being uploaded, it was the biggest mindf*ck to ever occur in her life.
Chris Constantine, ILIS

My sister was cleaning out our family computer and emptied the recycling bin. My father saw what she did and said “Oh good, make sure the bin stays empty so the deleted files don’t eat all the cookies.” I wonder how he thinks computers work.
Derrek Mangin

Mom’s Text Message: “Can u go 2 niketown to buy a Pacquia shirt 4 dad size lrg? B careful swine flu.”
N Lazo, UNLV

My mom wanted to look up Oprah interview so I told her to go to youtube. She calls me back and says she can’t find any videos. In the background I can hear “Vertigo” by U2 playing. She spent 20 minutes on U2.com looking for Oprah videos.
Justin Hix

My mom always scrolls back to the top of every website after reading it so it is “tidied up for the next person to watch.”
Michael Hoffstaedter

My dad is new to Facebook so I check his page every once in a while to see how he’s doing. I’ve noticed that he has a bad habit of creating new groups, to which he invites no one but continues to write on the group’s walls and start “discussions.” He is currently the creator (and only member) of 6 Facebook groups. Most of his groups are for people who graduated from his school the same year as he did. He continues to comment on it asking if anyone has heard of….and then he’ll list a number of people. He doesn’t understand why he’s not getting an responses.
Jimmy L, Virginia Tech

My mom bought an iPhone, but returned it because, “every time you touch the screen, it does something.”
Pete T, Purdue

Every time my grandfather puts a CD in the player in his truck, he says “swallow!” He thinks you have to say that to make the CD go in.
Leah Valdez, UT San Antonio

My mom just joined Facebook, so I IMed her. She was typing for a long time before she finally called me and asked how to make it send what she wrote because she couldn’t find the button. I told her to hit enter. This is the IM I got: “Are you IMing me on purpose or is this auto? I don’t know how to use this thing. How do I send this? Can you see me typing? Help help help help … Send send send send send send send send send send send send now send now send now finished SEND SEND Help send…”
Rebecca S., ASU

My girlfriend’s dad typed a huge letter out on the computer. After he was done, he printed it and decided the font was too small, so he erased the whole thing, changed the font size, and retyped it.
Mike Williams

My dad won’t let my little brother install Tap-Tap on his ipod touch because he says the ipod is only good for so many taps.
Joel Bonanno, LSU

My stepmom got a new blackberry and needed to log on to check her email. She started taking the case off of her blackberry, and when my dad asked what what she was doing, she said, “The log-in screen says that it’s case sensitive.”
Brooke Goldstein

My 73 year-old boss uses two hands when using a mouse. One hand to move it, the other to click.
Kyle A., University of Minnesota

My dad overheard me and my friends talking about how awesome youtube is. He tried searching for “Youtube Season 1” on DVD.
Benny L

My father spent several days loading his iPod with the songs he wanted. His method of uploading them? Plugging his iPod in and pressing play on the playlist. He called me after it was done playing all 1000 songs to ask me why it didn’t work.
Tom C

My mom was screaming for joy when a popup announced she won a $100,000 prize for being the 1,000,000 visitor to the website.
Christine N, UWO

My parents just informed me that they “N’Sync’d” their iphones.
Megan Dupuy

My mom clipped my brother’s blue tooth ear piece to her recently bought blu-ray disc. I don’t know what she thought was going to happen.
Drey Dailey

My aunt says she wants to go to Best Buy and get a keyboard where the letters are arranged in alphabetical order.
Daphne Caballero, USC (éste sí serviría, para papás neófitos)

My mom deletes what people write on her Facebook wall at the end of the day to “make room for more the next day.”
Lynn Donaldson, University of Texas

My grandfather plays me long songs on his harmonica on my voicemail once or twice a week. He always starts by saying, “It’s your grandfather,” and telling me his full name. He then plays the harmonica for 2-3 minutes, and at the end leaves his phone number, which I already have, and says “Okay. That’s the end. Bye bye.” Every time. He does this to the rest of my family too.
Vio Vitalic  AWEEEESOMEEEE

When my dad tries to do anything on the computer (i.e. download something, save something, open a web browser) and it doesn’t work, because he is doing it wrong, he says that “the computer lied to him.”
Rhiannon Bath

My mom just walked in and asked if I had ever “astleyed” someone. I think she meant rickrolled.
David G, UCLA

My great grandmother dresses up to watch television because she doesn’t want the men on TV to see her in her nightgown.
Ty Jacobs, Idaho

Any time my grandpa has an issue with the content of a webpage he asks us to get the number to “the internet” so he can complain.
Trey B

JAJAJA justo cuando estaba haciendo este post, mi papá me habló para que fuera a su cuarto, señaló a la tele, y me dijo “métete a esa página”. Estaban viendo una tarjeta de jib jab en las noticias u_u

“I tried to explain LOLcats to my mom one day. A week later I got a card in the mail with a return address from my cat. The card read - verbatim - “Meow! Me mises u sew much wen u r at colidg. Kant wate fur u to com home:, Momi byd me sum Kat treets they r gud! I luv u and msiss u veri muhch.” Good one, Mom.
Aly P, UIowa”